Spicy Tofu Drama in Beijing

A Travel Story of Culture & Kindness

Back in 2017, I visited Beijing for the first time. It was fun and beautiful. Before my trip, the media and the internet had given me the impression that people in Beijing were unfriendly, but that wasn’t my experience at all. I met incredibly kind people who were often very communicative and understanding.

One time, I ordered 铁板豆腐 (sizzling pan tofu) at a restaurant near W Hotel. I didn’t realize it would be that spicy. My first instinct, influenced by American-style service, was to send it back. The waitress seemed confused, so I explained that the menu didn’t mention anything about the tofu being spicy, although there was a 🌶️ icon indicating spice for other dishes but not for this tofu. The boss then came over and told me they don’t accept returns and that I would have to pay for a new plate if I wanted a non-spicy version.

The New Yorker in me insisted that I shouldn’t have to pay for another plate. Suddenly, a lady sitting at the table next to me came over and told the boss that she would like to pay for my tofu and take it home for dinner. The boss reassured her, saying it was fine and that he would handle my plate. But I insisted on getting a new one because my throat was sore, and I couldn’t handle the spiciness.

A moment later, the lady returned and said, "Actually, it’s fine. I really wanted to buy some tofu anyway. Pack it for me, I’ll pay for it and bring it home." Once again, the boss refused and told her, "It’s all good, no worries."

Then, to my surprise, the boss suddenly got frustrated, raised his voice at me, told the waitress to take my tofu away, and sent me a new plate of non-spicy tofu. I was shocked and a bit embarrassed. It was such a small dish, probably less than $4, yet I had made such a big deal out of it. But at that moment, I wasn’t thinking clearly perhaps because I was sick/ stubborn.

I went over to the lady’s table to thank her. I understood that she just wanted to help. I even offered to pay for her drinks, but she refused. She smiled and said, "I could tell you’re not a local and assumed you didn’t understand how things work here, so I stepped in." We ended up chatting and even added each other on social media.

When it was time to pay my bill, I looked at the receipt and noticed that I was only charged for one plate of tofu. I had expected to pay for two since one was sent back to the kitchen. I asked the waitress why, and she said her boss had told her to adjust the invoice.

I was touched. I pulled some extra cash from my pocket, walked up to the boss, and apologized to him, offering him the money. He was on a phone call, barely looking at me, but he pushed my money away and waved his hand as if to say, "No it’s fine." He didn’t smile—he was busy—but I understood the message.

At the end of the day, we were all good. This was one of my most memorable experiences in Beijing. I was deeply moved by the kindness of the people there. The younger me learned a valuable lesson that day. Sometimes, it’s better to let things go instead of insisting on being "right." In the end, it was an experience that helped me grow into a better person.

And that’s what made me want to go back to Beijing! 💖